Young Lovers’ Quarrel

By Aurora Miller

Sports Editor

March 2022

Growing up, Disney movies were a staple to family movie night. They were the picture-perfect example of love and fairytale endings. Although looking back what did they really teach us? That you can find your prince charming if you look hard enough or that he’s going to instantly fall in love with you. Let’s be honest, Disney movies are nothing but toxic. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty never got consent before being kissed by their “true love.” Belle fell in love with her captor and Ariel threw away her family loyalty for a man who didn’t even want her until the end of the movie. Each was your typical damsel in distress, dependent on a prince to come save them from their wicked families or “sad” life. Is believing in that instant connection better than aiming for today’s representation of high school love? This idea ingrained in society that without physical touch or sexual favors your relationship cannot be successful? This begs the real question: what is love?

In order to define love, you have to define relationships. Krissy Landon, a senior says, “Being in a relationship means you found someone who you have mutual trust with, someone you know you can count on when it comes to expressing how you feel and emotions you wish to let out to them. Someone who doesn’t objectify you or neglect you, and just shows you love.”

In today’s world these standards seem unrealistic, almost fairytale-like, especially when combined with the immaturity and drama that coincides with high school. How do you find someone you click with who contains the same morals and goals as you while trying to juggle coursework, athletics, and jobs? Part of the answer is through social media.

With today’s endless ability to communicate despite location, relationships have been made easier than ever. The talking stage has become more prevalent and drawn out, and while it was always semi-existent despite the decade, why is it now an admitted and important stage in building a relationship?

The talking stage “allows you to figure out what you like and what the red flags are so you can have a better foundation for adult dating” explains PJ Wilson, a junior. And while many students agree to its benefits in communication before commitment, others express the contrary.

Junior, Khader Abdalah says “The talking stage is pointless, you recognize love naturally, not when you have to decide.”

While that viewpoint may be true for some, social media can also be to blame for much of the toxicity experienced in relationships nowadays. It is not uncommon to hear about cheating, ghosting, or gaslighting occurring between a pair, even before a relationship is established. Many paint social media as the culprit, blaming the new stigma that’s emerged surrounding ideas of loyalty and overall treatment. One example being the term dubbed “simp”, which bullied men who gave the bare minimum in terms of relationship expectations and treatment. This overall highlights how toxicity within our generation has been heavily romanticized and accepted despite its dangerous effects.

One student touches on this by sharing their experiences in relationship abuse. “It all started because I had guy friends and my partner at the time didn’t like that because he didn’t “trust” their intentions. He would always get jealous and try to tell them things. Later I found out he would be flirty with other women and try to play me so we ended up having trust issues. Because of that, my relationship ended up being really toxic. It eventually ended up being very controlling because of that person’s insecurity.”

While it may not be to that extent for some, others shared experiences in losing themselves trying to continue a relationship or being led on, despite their good effort and intentions.

All in all, finding love is important, romantically or platonically. Its ability to bring people together and tear people apart is what makes it so special. So “don’t settle for anyone just because you think you don’t deserve someone better. Go for people that you think are perfect, the worst thing they could say is no,”

After all, you never know when you’ll find your fairytale ending.