Trans Experiences at BMHS: Part 1

By Nicolaj Arroyo

Arts & Entertainment Editor

October 2021

Trans experiences and issues are seldom acknowledged at BMHS, or in general. However, transgender* students exist, and our treatment in comparison to our cisgender** counterparts leaves something to be desired. In this series I will be speaking to transgender students in order to bring light to our struggles, our experiences and our aspirations, all of which are so often ignored.

Due to the nature of living in a transphobic society, finding other trans students was difficult.

It was even more difficult to find people okay with publishing personal struggles with people in positions of authority (who could possibly be reading this article.)

Luckily, I was able to reach a few students.

I will be speaking with BMHS junior Xander Liendo, an acquaintance of mine (us LGBT+ kids tend to stick together, eh?) about his experiences as a trans man in the school district, more specifically Beloit Memorial.

How are trans men included in health at BMHS? Are any staff, like nurses, knowledgeable about trans health?

“I’m not too sure. In health classes, being trans is never mentioned***, and I deeply feel that learning about that would benefit not only us as a community, but the school in general.

“The school nurse freshman year was definitely a savior in letting me use the nurse’s office bathroom instead of the women’s restroom, which helped my anxiety a ton, but transgender people should be brought up and taught on more.”

How are you treated by staff, when it comes to being trans?

“Some staff are very respectable[sic] about it, using the right name, but it’s the pronouns where they get it wrong, and I never correct them, because I get so scared to in front of other students…”

And as for students?

“...The whole reason I moved to Memorial is because I got harassed for being trans, hence why I avoid gym classes as well. Students that I know are very respectful students, [but those] that I don’t know [personally] are kinda iffy.

“ I’ve never gotten called names or bullied [here], but I definitely get some weird stares and comments like ‘Oh, my God, there’s only one guy in this class, the rest are females.’, and me being the second guy in the class, but not considered as one.”

I’ve been there, too. I’m really sorry you have to go through that.

“Ah, it’s alright. Win some, ya lose some, you know?”

As a whole, the students in your graduating class, how trans-positive would you say they are?

“Pretty trans-positive. My friends, especially, correct other people- and teachers when they mess up. Some students will correct themselves when my friends call them out, sure, I get stares here and there, but no one’s super negative or aggressive towards me about it, and that I am very appreciative of.”

That’s awesome! Very good. How do you think BMHS is at trans inclusion, both in general, and in sports?

“That’s where the downside comes in. Props to them for understanding certain behaviours are very insensitive, I just wish there was a public bathroom specifically for trans kids, so that we can go in there without feeling like we’re going to get hate-crimed.

“I used to do sports. I stopped for the harassment reason and for the reason that I cannot legally play a cis ‘male’ sport, I HAVE to play on a women’s team because of a ‘disadvantage’ type of thing, or whatever they call it.

“They have clubs like the LGBTQ+ one, that I don’t remember the name of [Gender-Sexuality Alliance], which is nice and all, I just feel like they need to teach more about us. We exist, the times are changing, and to this day I’m still educating people on my life and how I live. When, like an average cis person’s mental and physical health is taught about, so should ours, you know?”

As far as interpersonal relationships have been, crushes, romantic relationships, friendships, and the like, how has being trans played a part here? For me, being a gay trans man, pursuing cis men has always been incredibly painful, because of what they want me to be, and how they see me.

“Yes! Getting with cis men was always and always will be a hassle because they don’t know what they want, but they see you and perceive you, in my case, as female, because of my body, voice, etc.

“I’m bisexual, and even going for girls has been hard, because they would refer to me with lesbian-type comments, or things around those lines that just didn’t sit right with me. I’ve always struggled with identity in a relationship, because I would force myself to be what they wanted.

“I now see that if they wanted ME, and not my body, they would [respect who I am], and I’m happy to say I’ve finally found someone who actually likes me and doesn’t want sexual relationships out of it.”

What changes would you like made ? What do you think would make life better at BMHS for the trans kids that come after us?

“Definitely being taught more about us in health and things like that, maybe even a separate gym class? Although, that would be difficult, and it’s understandable. I have a gym class next term, and it’s my first gym class since eighth grade, and I’m very nervous I’m going to get stared at, and [that] people will spread things about me.

“Maybe more inclusive sports, or at least being open to anyone joining, and not boy-this-girl-that, you know ?

“I think it should be normalized for everyone to have a [space in introductions] for their pronouns so that trans kids aren’t spotted out for pointing out their pronouns so often.”

Agreed. Very well said. Thank you, Xander.

* Transgender refers to people who identify with a different gender than the one assigned to them at birth.

** Cisgender refers to people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.

***We reached out to Health teacher Kim Gamble, who admitted that coverage of gender and sexual orientation was hindered during distance learning. She stated that Health teachers have tried to do better to be inclusive.