Dear Increscent, April

Dear Increscent welcomes all student questions regarding a number of topics including (but not limited to) school, friends, relationships, or clubs. Questions may be emailed via our Google form, sent to bmhs.increscent@gmail.com or hand-delivered to Mrs. Fink or the editorial staff. We publish them anonymously. For each individual question the editorial team will collaboratively answer them candidly and thoroughly. Let us flex our journalistic skills by offering real-student answers to real-student questions. Please continue sending your thoughts!

Why is the Increscent indoctrinating our youth with the Liberal agenda?

Why shouldn’t they?

At Cracker Barrel, you guys want anything?

3000 kilometers of sausages please, make sure it is keto!

What is your best liberal arts paper title?

Felt Cute, Might Delete Later: The Selfie Panopticon and Baudrillard in a Post Hepburn, Pre-Kardashian-Jenner-West-Chyna Society.

Can you let me out of the Increscent dungeon?

You have been deemed a political prisoner. You shall not be released. The Increscent reigns supreme. Long live the Increscent. Long live Goosella the Goose.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Funny! Ground beef, right? Thirty feet deep in the ground next to the Turtle Island playground lies Augustus Stevenson, a man who went missing in 1985, whom I murdered during the French Revolution.

How old isn’t Elon Musk?

No more questions, please.